He became distant and told me he wasn’t sure he wanted to be in a relationship…

Hi Rikki!

I was listening to some of your vids on TikTok and found what you were saying interesting. I have a question if you don’t mind. I was dating a guy for 6 months as BF/GF (he asked me to be his GF after dating 1 mo). Within that time, around the 4th mo, he became distant, started having second thoughts, and told me he wasn’t sure he wanted to be in a relationship, but didn’t want to regret leaving. I accepted this, gave him space, and stayed w him 2 more months. I then said to him that I wasn’t feeling good in this, and I just wanted to be friends, and I broke it off. It’s been 8 months since this happened. He has called me or texted me almost every single day since, even though we are not together. He doesn’t flirt with me or do anything romantic, but he won’t leave me alone. We have things in common professionally, so that’s what he brings up.

The last couple weeks I decided to separate myself and not engage in his calls because it’s affecting me emotionally. Truth be told I still love him but find this extremely unfair, since he hasn’t come back as a boyfriend, but doesn’t leave me alone either. He’s starting to get the picture and has stopped calling.
My question is: why would a man do this when I accepted his NO, and gave him the space he asked for?
Sorry for the very long text. I’d appreciate your feedback, I’m at a total loss. Thank you so much!! 💛


Hey love,
Thanks for reaching out. That would be very confusing and hard.
From what I read here you did the right thing. Gave home some time. Respected your boundaries and let him go when it wasn’t feeling good for you anymore.
The feeling I get here is that he is going through something on his end and you were a light in his darkness. And even though he couldn’t give you what you need, he wasn’t ready to give up what he gets from you. This is selfish on his behalf.
I think the best thing to do is cut all ties. You can even tell him that in order to heal you need space and cannot be in contact with him. I would tell him something like this in a firm/ direct way and then move on.
No one needs to give their energy to someone who doesn’t reciprocate.
Focus on yourself, heal your heart, do things you enjoy and that fill your cup. Make the next little while all about YOU and what you need to feel happy ❤️