Hi Rikki!
I was wondering if you provide advice/guidance through dms?
I met a guy on a dating app and we have been consistently texting/calling for a bit over a month now and yesterday he commented that he wanted to see me. At night, he mentioned he was going MIA for awhile. I asked if everything was okay, he said no and said he really needed to be alone. I let him know I care about him and I am here if he needs anything.
I did ask him some days ago to communicate with me if he felt like he didn’t want to be social so I wouldn’t feel ignored or as if I was bothering him.
I keep going in circles about whether or not he could be pulling away from me or if something happened and he just needs space to deal with it.
This might require a guidance call but this is a brief overview of the situation!
Thank you again!
~M 😊
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Hey love,
This is a tough situation and I know it can feel scary and overwhelming.
In the beginning stages there is always a time when a man will pull back, this is a coping technique men use when they feel flooded, overwhelmed with emotion, responsibility, fear, worry, doubts about relationship, not on his life’s mission…..
A lot of the time this has nothing to do with you and everything to do with HIM!
There is a difference between taking space for himself “man time” versus walking away from the relationship. And at this point it could be either situation.He has asked for space and all you can do is respect his need. He did mention that he was going to be MIA for a while which is commendable because a lot of men just disappear without warning. This doesn’t guarantee that he will come back though.
The only thing you can do now is take the focus off of him and put it on YOU! Just like he is doing – focusing on himself.
I will leave you with one thought though….. Most men do not connect the same way women do through texting, women bond through communication men bond through doing (aka hanging out in person) so a lot of the time when my clients have fall into the trap of endlessly texting many of them don’t turn into a real relationships because most men who have “penpals” like the attention and ego stroke they get from texting without them having to put in any real time/ effort to build a relationship with you.
I always recommend that my clients go on an in person date within the first week of meeting someone to establish if there is a true connection and potential for more…..
Hope this helps!
Rikki
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Thank you so much! Definitely leaves me with something to reflect on.
I do feel a bit caught off guard by it since prior to him saying he was going MIA, we were making plans to see each other and he did say he wanted to see me.
~M
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This is very common….. You’ve been texting for a while. It’s fun and non-committal. And then things start get REAL when meeting in person comes into play (this is why I recommend getting off text and in person as soon as possible).
Now he has something to think about! “Am I actually ready to give this person more?” “Am I in a place in life that I can commit to a real relationship?”.
This is when he pulls back to sort all of this out. He needs to decide if he’s able to give you more than he has been.
Let’s get you set up with a Guidance Call so we can explore this deeper together!
~R
